A Fresh Perspective on a Delicate Matter

The documentary follows two main characters, a transgender woman and a transgender man, capturing their lives over a decade after their initial transition. The way they interact with their loved ones, the decisions they make, and the unspoken truths reveal a profound insight into human nature.

In one instance, a mother grapples with her daughter’s transition into a man and the secret her son’s girlfriend keeps from her conservative family. In another, the transgender woman’s ex-wife feels hurt by not being the first to know about her then-husband’s decision to transition.

And then it hit me. I get it!

The Duality of Truth and Betrayal

The closest people to you hold opinions that matter. When unsure about something that might upset them, you tell them. But when you’re convinced that something must be done, even if it goes against their beliefs, you withhold that truth.

To some, this might seem like betrayal. To others, it’s a matter of staying true to oneself. It’s never an easy decision, but a complicated dance between love, trust, self-discovery, and sometimes survival.

I’ve found myself on both sides of this equation, and it never feels easy either way. There’s a struggle between wanting support from those close to you and yet knowing you can’t tell them something that might hurt or alienate them.

A Personal Journey of Understanding

This is not about casting judgment or offering professional insights. I’m merely pondering and wondering, tracing my thoughts back to situations where I’ve been there, felt that. It’s about recognizing that life’s decisions are rarely black and white, and that understanding why someone might lie is not about excusing the act but about embracing empathy and compassion.

The beauty of life is that it allows us to grow, to change, to understand things in ways we never thought we could. And this documentary opened a door for me, showing me a new way of seeing and accepting a part of human nature that’s as complex as it is universal.

Have you ever been on either side of this equation? How did it feel? Share your thoughts, experiences, and let’s explore this intricate web of honesty together.

The documentary provides a raw depiction of the lives of four black trans sex workers, emphasizing the dichotomy between the black community and themselves. The entire experience was riveting, and it took me on an emotional roller coaster. I felt intertwined with the stories of these incredible individuals, their struggles, and their resilience.

It’s intriguing to realize that sometimes, despite our differences, our emotions, experiences, and feelings echo similarly. As a white cis female, I surprisingly found a reflection of myself in the depths of the stories told by these black trans individuals. These revelations aren’t straightforward; they require introspection, empathy, and the ability to question our beliefs.

One book that had a profound impact on my understanding of unconscious biases is “Blindspot” by Mahzarin R Banaji and Anthony G Greenwald. The book doesn’t just delve into the academic aspect of biases but allows the readers to confront their own through intriguing online tests. As I dug deeper into the narrative, I realized that our biases don’t solely stem from our individual experiences, but largely from the environment and the actions we witnessed growing up. This revelation was pivotal for me. I understood how some of my past experiences had subconsciously formed biases that dictated my decisions for years.

Like many, I had experiences that created lasting impacts on my life. Early physical development, combined with traumatic experiences, led me to harbor a deep-seated bias, especially towards men. These biases influenced my personal and professional decisions, often hindering my growth.

D. Smith, through “Kokomo City,” masterfully used the black and white narrative, possibly hinting at the binary world we live in. The dichotomy of black and white, man and woman, this or that, raises an intriguing question about what lies beyond this binary? A question from the audience during the Q&A resonated with me – what happens when we move beyond these binaries to a world filled with colors, accepting the vast spectrum of human identities?

The very thought challenges the core of our identities. What happens when we no longer label ourselves based on race, gender, religion, or other binaries? How will we define our goals, our life purposes? It’s an exciting, yet challenging thought. Imagining a world where our identities aren’t pre-defined or limited, but rather fluid and expansive, offers hope for a future where empathy and understanding reign supreme.

“Kokomo City” was not just a documentary for me. It was a transformative experience that pushed me to question, empathize, and hope. I believe that the journey from bias to empathy is continuous, and such powerful narratives only propel us further along this path.

For those who’ve yet to witness this cinematic marvel, I urge you to watch “Kokomo City.” Additionally, if you’re keen on a profound introspective journey, “Blindspot” by Banaji and Greenwald is a must-read. Both these works are not only enlightening but essential in our collective journey towards understanding and empathy. Don’t wait; dive into these masterpieces today!

Read review of the book and see purchase link for the book here

This book doesn’t merely present an abstract discussion of unconscious biases. It bridges the gap between the theoretical and the practical by providing intriguing online tests for readers to discover their own ‘blind spots’. These tests are thought-provoking and highly beneficial, aiding individuals in understanding the foundations of their beliefs and actions.

The authors compellingly illustrate that our biases stem largely from the environment in which we were raised. More importantly, they emphasize that it’s not what was explicitly told to us but the actions witnessed during our upbringing that have the most significant impact. This perspective invites readers to engage in deeper introspection and understanding of their own and others’ behavior.

“Blindspot” may not provide a direct roadmap for changing these biases, but it gives a profound insight into why they exist, challenging readers to reevaluate their perceptions. This is a seminal work for anyone interested in understanding the roots of bias and taking the first steps towards self-improvement and empathetic understanding of others.

Buy Book HERE

A Life Unfolding: Gloria Vanderbilt’s Unusual Journey

Gloria’s life was long, privileged, and filled with old-world aristocratic coldness. Her existence, cushioned by wealth yet alienated from the majority, fascinated me, as did the religious dogmas that shaped her public image. She was called the “Vanderbilt child” in the press, an impersonal way to reference a living, breathing individual. The melancholy of her story was underscored by her relationships, her need for protection, and her restlessness to propel herself forward.

A Painter’s Reflection: My Connection to Gloria

As I dove into Gloria’s world, I couldn’t help but see reflections of my own life. I, too, have felt the drama and the pull of an unusual existence, without the Vanderbilt wealth. I have longed for normalcy while recognizing that my drive for more would never allow it. Like Gloria, I have been drawn to the arts, bypassing myself opportunities in acting, to find my mark in painting.

Our experiences with motherhood and inheritance ( or lack there of in my case ) also mirrored each other. Gloria’s decision to cut her mother off from her inheritance, telling her to “get a job,” echoed the words my daughter spoke to me during hard times. Both of us worked hard, driven by love and responsibility, striving to provide for those we cared about and find ourselves in the process.

The Artistic Soul: Loneliness and Connection

Perhaps the most powerful link between Gloria and myself lies in the internal loneliness that seems to fuel our artistic expression. Gloria’s lack of a concrete life plan, her struggles with identity, and her desire to connect through her art mirror my own feelings. This deep-seated, isolating sense of loneliness has become a driving force behind my work, propelling me forward through tragedy and restlessness.

Gloria’s inventiveness, her journey through love and loss, and her ability to continue living despite unbearable heartache resonates with me. Her life story, entwined with art and tragedy, is a poignant reminder of human resilience.

Conclusion: A Shared Journey

The documentary “Nothing Left Unsaid” offered me a glimpse into a life both foreign and familiar. Gloria’s childlike art, her relationships, her restless drive, and her intense longing for connection mirror aspects of my own life. As an artist, a mother, and a woman who has experienced the unpredictable tides of life, I see in Gloria a kindred spirit.

Her story inspires me to embrace the unpredictability of life, to find strength in love, and to express it all through my art. It serves as a reminder to tell those in my life that they are loved and supported, and to share that love more widely through my paintings.

This is more than a review of a documentary; it’s an exploration of the human soul, an intertwining of two lives connected by art, love, and a drive to understand and be understood.

Amusing and Delightful Connections

Many have described the show as “amusing and delightful,” and I wholeheartedly agree. Watching the show is like participating in a human puzzle, where connections are drawn, and bonds are made or broken. It’s almost a game to guess which date will make it to the second round. You can just tell by body language, the way they converse, the spark in their eyes – these subtle clues guide the audience in predicting the outcome.

More Than Just a Show, A Personal Reflection

For me, “Dating Around” goes beyond mere entertainment. It has caused me to pause and reflect on my own life and relationships. Each interaction on the show serves as a reminder that connections aren’t merely coincidences but serendipitous moments that shape our lives. The show nudged me into rethinking past regrets about time spent with the people who once graced my life. Perhaps, they were not mistakes but beautiful chapters that were meant to be.

A Fresh Approach to Reality Television

What sets “Dating Around” apart from other reality shows is its authenticity. There are no confessionals, no voice-overs narrating the scenes, no heavy-handed production interference. It’s just a raw, honest peek into people’s interactions, which invites viewers to think and see for themselves.

It’s akin to French cinema, notorious for providing glimpses into lives without definite beginnings or endings – movies that I love. This unique presentation style allows us to connect with the experiences on screen, form our opinions, and perhaps even see a bit of ourselves in these fleeting connections.

Conclusion: A Connection Worth Making

“Dating Around” is more than a reality show; it’s an exploration of human connection, a celebration of authenticity, and a chance to reflect on life’s serendipities. Its unscripted nature and lack of narration allow the viewer to engage with the content more intimately, making it a stand-out piece in the world of reality TV.

If you are in search of something different, something that invites you to think, to connect, and to appreciate the beautiful complexity of human interaction, then “Dating Around” might be your next perfect match on Netflix.

In “Mad Men,” the advertising genius Don Draper, known for his sharp wit and creative prowess, had an affinity for abstract art. This wasn’t just a matter of aesthetic appeal; it was a subtle indication of his intellectual depth and innovative thinking. Similarly, in the groundbreaking series “Succession,” the billionaire Roy family’s home is adorned with abstract artwork, underscoring their wealth, status, and a keen eye for value beyond the material realm.

But why is it that characters like these are typically associated with abstract art? The connection might be more profound than you think.

The intrinsic beauty of abstract art lies in its openness to interpretation. Unlike other art forms, it doesn’t tell a defined, coherent story. It leaves room for imagination, allowing the viewer to dive deep into their mind and extract a meaning that resonates with them. Hence, it’s often the intellectuals, the creatives, the mavericks, who are drawn to these enigmatic pieces, their minds capable of appreciating and deciphering the layers within the abstract.

Moreover, the appreciation of abstract art requires a certain degree of cultural and artistic knowledge, often associated with a higher level of education or social status. To put it simply, buying abstract art isn’t just a matter of taste, but a show of cultural capital.

Let’s not forget the significant role of abstract art as a symbol of financial power. With famous pieces by artists like Jackson Pollock or Mark Rothko selling for millions, owning a piece of abstract art has become a status symbol—a sign of affluence. However, it’s not just about the price tag. It’s about the willingness to invest in something intangible and profound, something that holds its value in sentiment and cultural significance rather than in dollars and cents.

However, this doesn’t mean that abstract art is only for the elite. The beauty of it lies in its universality. You don’t need to have a six-figure salary or a degree in Art History to enjoy abstract art. All you need is a mindset open to exploration and the ability to appreciate the mystery and beauty of the abstract.

So the next time you see an abstract painting in a movie or on TV, remember that it’s not just a prop—it’s a statement about the character who owns it. And if you’re considering buying an abstract piece for your own home, know that you’re not just buying a piece of art—you’re purchasing a symbol of your intellectual curiosity, your appreciation for the abstract, and your individuality. Abstract art is not just about breaking patterns in the artistic world; it’s about challenging norms and conventions in the real world. It’s a badge of sophistication, intellect, and power—a testament to the complexity of the human mind.

Something I call french art house cinema mainstream. Alright alright I am not a film critic in typical sense. I can only do my best in seeking terms that describe my feelings and understanding. And so here we are.

The subtleties of short and ambiguous dialogues and visuals open to interpretation, precisely etched in the title of the film. In typical AMERICAN habit to juice up the advertising of the film and entice public we go for the taboo and call it “TIED” – the title that literally translates “the story of love”. Unsurprisingly and so limiting is the american title. However, perhaps it is a trick to attract mainstream public in hopes that somewhere somehow the lyrical story will educate and makes them think…

The actual film is about far more then bdsm antiques of its main characters.

It is truly about love. To each its own. About GIVE AND TAKE. About control and releasing. About life. 

Cinematography is beautiful and often plays very well with symbolism injected in the scene.

The set design so Bauhaus meets Mid Century Modern Day, the ever present black and white photographs in frames on the walls paired with abstract works, an ever present symbol of intellect, power and money in all films. The toned down coloring I so love. The shadows and light, where much more lives in the shadows. The incredible elegance of it all including the wardrobe choices, happily Christian Dior – the french effortless chic leader in fashion. What an amazing choice!

Laetcia is perfectly cast, her sensual beauty is ravishing and tells me as much about her character as her often silence in dialogues does. Her slightly tired skin with dark undertone circles around eyes, her simple hair, her slim stance and ever present black stilettos…. She is the type my beloved Bertolucci chooses for his films. The understated sensuality you read in chosen actress’s imperfections ( seen as such by modern “plastic” vein world ) the oda to Goddess like femininity. Watching Laeticia’s face closeups I have a real pull to stuck my nose to the screen and maybe even lick the corner of her mouth. Like an animal able to sense the undertone of human’s personality, I feel her. I want to secretly whisper : ” I understand ! I felt it too. I have been there”. 

I could never explain to myself why did I ever were a Dominatrix as part of my this lifetime journey, me being for non violence / pain both physical, mental and soul, yet I naturally slid into the role and played it well. 

Now after watching the film I do….

This movie puts a spell on you. Just like Last Tango in Paris did.

The ending is unexpected but almost irrelevant in terms of the “end” of the story. The special bond we feel for those we have chosen and who have chosen us has the beginning but hardly ever has an end.

And so we live. And love. 

The story of life. The story of love.

UNE HISTOIRE D’AMOUR